Monday, May 2, 2011

for me, it isn't over

I've come to understand over the past few months that no matter how much we try, most things will never be completely over and forgotten.  Certainly circumstances change, but the major experiences and people who played significant roles in your life will always be a part of who you are, no matter where you are, where they are, or what you are doing.  The impact will not and should not be forgotten.  For awhile I have been trying to think of an example that most "readers" [if I actually had any] would find relatable.  Last night it came...Osama Bin Laden was killed.  For Americans, 9/11 will always be remembered.  The feelings and emotions felt on that day linger in our hearts and minds.  While justice has prevailed, there is no doubt that 9/11 and Osama Bin Laden will be a part of us, as Americans, forever.  Like this, there are so many things we wish we could take back; we wish certain events hadn't happened, or had happened; instances in which we wished we had acted differently; made more of an effort, made less of an effort; said more, done more; said less, done less; but where does all of that wishing and regret get us?  Nowhere.  But then, why are we where we are now?  Because this is where we are supposed to be and what we are supposed to be doing, and that's just the way life is.

Throughout the last semester I've been jotting down ideas, goals, notes, random thoughts, advice given, advice received, lessons learned, reflections--you name it, I've probably written about it.  One thing that most of these thoughts and tid-bits come back to is happiness.  DO what makes you happy.  BE with the ones who make you happy.  Don't SETTLE for less than you deserve.  REALIZE that you are happy.  Happiness is not always found in achieving, winning...happiness is found in the journey.  If you can't find happiness in the journey, you haven't reached your final destination yet.  It's important to enjoy the process; it won't always be fun.  Putting yourself out there, laying it all on the line, taking a leap of faith--that is what makes life what it is.  It can be bitter.  It can be sweet.  It can be bittersweet, but in the end, when everything works out, be satisfied that it was all meant to be.  Remember, sometimes your situation doesn't need to change, you just need to change how you perceive it.

1 comment:

  1. Philosophical realizations. I like it, I like the fact that you think and write. I wonder, what would you think of my paper "Depth" in the context of your philosophy?:


    What is the depth of a person? What is it in truth that we should love?

    "I think looks are important but it is the personality that counts the most," says the shallow man.

    The order of love is personality first, then beauty. This idea comes from shallow people; shallow people who do not want to seem shallow. People accept this idea without questioning it. It becomes the mark, the banner, the standard, and the flag of those who think that depth, while deeper than the skin, is only as deep as the now.

    The signs they use all mean the same thing: "I want to be seen as more." But understanding is not a matter of personality. Personality is only in the now. It can reflect depth, but it is not depth.

    Personality is the methodology we use to look at the world, and it is what others view in us at any given time.

    It is the water which touches the air on a vast lake, so thin the word shallow makes it seem a thousand times deeper then it really is. It reflects faces, and molds to the currents beneath. But not all currents are reflected on the surface.

    Look at yourself in the now. Are your thoughts representative of your whole being? Is your personality representative of your soul in its entirety? Do you feel how trapped you are to measure your soul only in the now? Only one thought can be made at a time, and those thoughts come from you, but they are not you alone.

    Your past echos like the sound of the wind through a mountain range, it flows like the deepest currents in the deepest oceans. It moves with an energy more awe inspiring than the loudest crash of thunder, more pure than the sweetest note of music. Your past is your depth, and your depth is what makes you who you are.

    Sometimes when I am watching people walk by I wonder about their thoughts. I wonder about who they are at that moment in time. But to a large extent I already know. There is far less mystery in the personality of a person. And thus I judge based off of shallow interpretations and inevitably everyone seems shallow to me.

    We are all human and flawed. Judging a person off of his or her personality is not always bad. Sometimes a person's method of interaction simply does not jibe well with others.

    But to love someone based only off of personality is not enough. To love someone you must try to understand his or her depth. You have to understand their reasons for being. You have to understand their past selves to the greatest extent you can.

    I have been interested in loving certain people over the past few years, but their depths never seemed to fit with my own. They were people who would never understand me, and who I could never understand.

    I once knew a girl who shared her depth, and thus, she was more than the glassy surface of a lake. As we all do, she had motivations and reasons flooding through every action she made, but she did not hide those reasons. She lived her life for the sake of living it well, and for the sake of finding truth. Her depth was not a matter of how others saw her. Her depth was a matter of the reason behind her passion.

    It was not about how she laughed, it was about why.

    Beauty is skin deep.
    Personality is as thin as the time captured in a photograph.
    Depth is as deep as the memory, as the history of a person's life.

    Love the depth in others, and your love won't be surprised.